Debunking the myths!

There are so many misunderstanding about therapy - they often stop people reaching out, even when they really need support. So Let's Talk about them and clear them up.

1. Therapy is only for people with serious mental health problems!

The truth is, therapy is for anyone and everyone who feels they need it, no matter who they are, where they come from or what’s going on in their life. If you need and want therapy it is there for you. It’s there for when you start noticing changes in yourself that don’t feel right, and you want to get back to feeling like you again. It's there if you if you just need an outlet to get what is happening for you out of your head and into the open safely, its there for you if you just want help to make sense of what is going on.

You don’t need a diagnosis, and you definitely don’t need to be at breaking point to go. You might just be finding life a bit tough right now—and that’s completely okay. Whether you feel stuck, overwhelmed, more stressed than usual, or you just need a safe space to talk things through, therapy is there for you.

2. Going to therapy means I am weak!

I hear this quite a lot, and to be honest, it really upsets me sometimes. Society, especially in the past, built up this idea that crying means you’re weak, showing emotions means you’re weak, struggling to keep going means you’re weak… and asking for help? Well, that’s just unthinkable, isn’t it! But you know what - I say "up yours society and your unempathetic approach to humanity, you got it wrong - in fact, it’s the complete opposite"!

Crying is how we let emotion out, a way to regulate—if it didn’t serve a purpose, we wouldn’t even be able to do it. Showing emotions just means you can feel things properly and let them do what they’re meant to—every single emotion has a reason to be there, and what good has ever come from bottling them all up? As for asking for help… well, in my eyes, that’s brave, and it’s an act of self-love too so what is wrong with showing yourself a bit of compassion. Choosing to talk things through instead of suffering in silence is harder than you think! Choosing therapy, that’s one of the strongest, kindest things you can ever do for yourself.

3. Therapy is just about me talking and you listening!

If it was, would that be such a bad thing! Not everyone has the privilege of having someone who will truly listen, who lets them feel heard and understood. But answer me this—do you have that one place where you can say absolutely everything you need to, while feeling safe, free from judgment, and without fear of bias or unwanted opinions? So yes, while I do listen, and I do it attentively without interrupting you while you work through things, it is also so much more than that. We work together to find a way forward, we untangle those messy thoughts and feelings, we make sense of exactly what is happening for you, and we find new ways to navigate whatever life throws your way. I listen, I offer empathy, I see you and I hear you, and I help you feel truly understood but you do the hard work and bring the material whilst I am right there with you—never just sitting on the sidelines.

4. I can talk to my friends & family, I don't need counselling!

It is absolutely amazing that you have that support network around you, because as humans, we really do need those healthy connections. But not everyone has that luxury, and the truth is, not everyone’s family or friends are all that helpful. Whilst family and friends can be wonderful, they also come with emotional attachments, their own opinions, or they’ll tell you what’s “right” for you—usually based only on their own experiences, or on how what you told them made them feel.

This can end up taking away your autonomy to do what you actually feel is best for you, and in some cases, it leaves you feeling even more confused about what the right thing to do really is. There’s also the fact that we tend to choose who we talk to based on how we know they’ll react, or what kind of response we’re after. We might share one part of the story with one person, and another bit with someone else, which means the whole picture never actually gets looked at or dealt with properly.

Family and friends will naturally side with you and go along with what you say; they’ll validate how you feel and blame whatever or whoever is outside of you, just to protect you and be supportive. But what they don’t do is look at the full situation, or help you understand your own internal responses and why you feel or react the way you do.

You see, counsellors are neutral. They aren’t part of your everyday life, so they have no emotional attachment to you or anyone involved. They can give you a safe space free from judgement or personal opinions, and they’ll help you understand how you respond to the things you go through—all in total confidence. Most importantly, they let you bring the whole of your story into one place, so everything gets seen and heard

5. Counselling is expensive and only for rich people!.

Yes whilst private counseling can feel costly, you are paying for the skills and time of the counsellor. as you would in any other service. However, many counsellors understand this and will allocate a number of slots to provide reduced fees. I for one appreciated how finances can be a barrier and offer those concessions myself to students, seniors and those on benefits and I do so as I believe that everyone should have the ability to access therapy to improve their wellbeing if they wish to do so. Private therapy is just one route, there are many services and charities that you can access support.

6. I have to talk about things I do not want to share!

Counselling can feel like you have to go deeper but in reality, most counselling modalities will go at your pace and work with what you bring to session. Yes sometimes therapy feels like its gets messy and can feel tough before it gets better but that is because you are utilising the safe space with a trained professional to untangle what is coming up for you in those moments and in doing so can make a big difference to how you perceive the experience and respond to them. Counselling isn't just about knowing how you feel it is about those experiences, it is also about processing it and learning new ways to deal with it and sometimes that means going a little deeper when you are ready and you will do this naturally especially as the therapeutic relationship deepens too.